The Family
The extended family is the basis of the social structure, It includes the nuclear family, immediate relatives, distant relatives and even friends, and neighbours.
Loyalty to the family comes before any other relationship or commitment.
It is inappropriate to ask questions about a Pakistani’s wife or other female relatives.
Hierarchical Ranking
People are respected because of their age, social position is secondary. Older people are viewed as wise and are always respect. Elders are introduced first, and in general are treated much like royalty. They will be served first and their drinks will be poured for them.
Pakistanis expect the most senior person, by age or position, to make decisions that are in the best interest of the group.
One is expected to use a person's title and surname until invited to use their first name, or you may be referred to as sahib, today's equivalent to sir.
Meeting & Greeting Customs
Men shake hands with each other. Use the full hand and have a firm grip and shake. Friends and relatives may hug as well as shake hands. A hug suggests that you have been or will be sourly missed.
Women generally hug and kiss. People take their time during greetings and ask about the person’s health, family, and business success.
when giving a gift you must asses the type of family and life style they have. If your invited to a Pakistani’s home in the city by an elitist family you might consider bringing the hostess flowers & quality chocolates.
In a village situation you might take fruit or clothing.
If your a foreign visitor you will be expected to take a gift from your country. A word of warning. If a man must give a gift to a woman, he must say that it is from his wife, or some other female relative. Gifts are presented with two hands, and the gift are not opened as soon as they are received.
Dining
Be prepared to remove your shoes if your invited to a home, Show respect for the elders by greeting them first. Don't arrive earlier than the stipulated time when invited to a small gathering. In some rural areas, it is still common to eat meals while sitting on the floor. Some people in rural areas do not use eating utensils. Remember guests are served first. Then the oldest, continuing then youngest is served.
Wait until the oldest person at the table begins. When urged to take second and even third helpings. Saying “I’m full” will be taken as a polite gesture and not accepted at face value. You must always eat only with the right hand even when using a fork.
Business & Communication
Third-party introductions are a necessary in Pakistan, people prefer to work with some one they know and trust and will spend a great deal of time on the relationship building. You must not show your frustrated, you should appear relaxed and play them at their own game. Pakistanis are hospitable and enjoy hosting foreign guests. You should remember relationships take time to grow and must be nurtured. They will ask about your family and they way you live just to get to know and understand you better. People stand close to one another while conversing, they are not trying to violate your personal space so don't back away.
Pakistanis are generally indirect communicators. Pakistanis speak in a roundabout fashion. Direct statements are made only to those with whom they have a long-standing personal relationship. They also go out of their way to find something to flatter you with you should try to reciprocate this.
Pakistanis may say they “will try” rather than admit that they cannot or will not do something, so it is important to ask the same question in several ways so you can be certain what was meant by a vague answers. These people prefer to do business in person, they see the telephone & internet as very basic tool tool for communication.
At business appointments the offer of tea is a sign of hospitality. People in the private sector who are accustomed to working with international companies often try to be punctual. Expect frequent interruptions during the meeting. Don't expect to sign a deal at the end of the first meeting sometimes business is not even discussed at all as a relationship is still being developed. Decisions are reached slowly. This society is extremely bureaucratic and most decisions require several layers of approval. Be prepared to negotiate, they will strive for win-win outcomes. Negotiations can become highly emotional and discussions may become heated It is imperative that you remain calm. Business cards are exchanged at the initial introduction include any advanced university degrees or professional honours on your card, as they denote status. Make a point of studying any business card you receive before putting into your wallet. |
